The First 48 Hours

Congrats to Will and Kristin for having one of the most delicious babies ever.

Why I Got Fatter in California that I Do in Kentucky.

I'm sort of on an eating tour, going to my favorite diners and restaurants in LA while I have the chance. At the top of the list was Real Food Daily, a vegan restaurant that is so good it blows my mind. Here's where I binged on Not-chos, enchiladas with tomatillo sauce and plantains, and a peanut butter chocolate cupcake. It is also where I gained my first five pounds.

Mmmmmm. Oink, oink.

Yesterday.

I'm on a plane.

Blogging. Yes, that is happening right now. Delta is giving free wifi for the holidays so while I'm en route to LA, I am internetting.

I love being alive in this day and age.

For Jen.

You will be laughing your ass off.

Secret Lives

Heather sent me a little discovery she made into Mack's secret life.

And to think, all this time I thought his secret life involved a half-naked blonde, stoned musicians and some Remy Martin.

An aside, I'm not really sure what frontiersmen and Indians getting along has to do with Jesus being happy? Someone explain this to me.

A is for Amber.

Why yes, that is an A on my report card. And yes, that nursing class does qualify me to stick a thermometer up your pooper and give you a shot.

Diagnosis Nebraska Mouth

During the 7th season of the Ultimate Fighter, a reality show featuring some incredibly fit and sexy guys aspiring mixed martial artists, there was this guy named C.B. Dollaway. He was an alright fighter to watch, but there was something annoying about him. Something about his mouth specifically.

It was more like a butt hole than a mouth, which is so gross, I know, but that's what I thought every time I saw it and that's why I hated C.B. Dollaway. I was expressing this admittedly superficial and unfounded distaste for this particular fighter based on his mouth to Mack one day, and Mack, demonstrating his special way with words, described it as Nebraska Mouth.

Since then, we've been on the lookout for Nebraska Mouth. To help you diagnose people, here's a visual compilation of Nebraska Mouthed people.

A Few of the Afflicted: Ryan Bader, Stephan Bonnar, Spencer Pratt, and, of course, C.B. Dollaway

We recently also spotted Mississippi Mouth, but we haven't quite designated it as a condition yet. Research pending...

Naked. Pragnet. Lady.

Leiah has a better body 8 months pregnant than I had in my teens. Although in my teens I had one boob that was a C-cup and one that was a no-cup-necessary and my tenth year screwed my teens by lacquering some stretchmarks across my lower back, so that's not saying much.

Here she is at 7 months pregnant, looking more Baywatch in a bikini than I have on my best day. You know, if Baywatch had pregnant lifeguards.

As part of Leiah's shower (and because I like to take pictures), we did a little photo shoot and turned it into a slideshow to up the excitement surrounding the arrival of Lillian Blake. I think the photos we got were stunning, Leiah as gorgeous and serene as I've seen her in the past decade. It almost made me want to be pregnant... except that I'd get all fat and stretched and nauseous and angry and it would be awful. Plus, who would take care of that baby?

We're just a couple of days away from the end of Leiah's 8th month, which means little Lillian will be here in 36ish days! And I'll get all the joys of a new baby without all the sleep deprivation. I love my sisters.