Sooooo tweet.

Before the big news of my meeting with the adorable Anna Elizabeth Kelly (coming tomorrow), I must write about the shower we had for her and her momma waaayyyy back in the day before we knew she was a she, back when it was still April!

When Jen told me she was pregnant, I pretty much invited myself to be a part of the shower party planning. I knew she had some other awesome girlfriends who'd probably also want to be in on it, so I was fine with not commandeering the whole shebang, but I definitely wanted to be in on the crafty parts. Like the theme.

Since Mike & Jen didn't find out if they were having a girl or a boy, they often referred to the lovey we now know as Anna as the bun in the oven. I played around with a bun in the oven theme and found a lot of cute ideas, but when it came down to it, it felt a little less Martha Stewart and a little more Better Homes & Gardens. And we all know Jen is Martha.

At 5 months pregnant, Jen pretty much had her nursery theme picked out, a really cute nature-y set up with yellows and greens and trees and birdies, so we turned to it for inspiration. Specifically, this pillow.

Historically I haven't liked birds. They have thin bones and beady eyes and they shit on me more than they should. But working on this project for Jen carved out a special spot in my heart for them. I even put out a bird feeder for them in the back yard.

I consulted with Jen's awesome friends April and Whitney on the shower idea, got the go ahead, and we took it from there. April offered her gorgeous house as the location, Whitney took charge of the soundtrack and the chicken salad, and I took the reigns on details, which are my favorite!

Here's the "mood board" we came up with, followed by snapshots from the shower. I swear if this nursing thing doesn't pan out, I am going into party planning. It and Taco Doritos are my drugs of choice.

It's funny to look at this after the fact and realize how much of a map it really was!

 

My favorite thing about this shower, besides the guest of honor and all the miniatures, was using mismatched china as serving dishes. That was adorable and added just the bit of dainty that made it Jen-appropriate. 

The Endorsement Series: this one goes to 11

Ants are just amazing. They are better than even Asians at being orderly and devoted to the collective well being. They can carry the human equivalent of a car in their mouths, and having been sampled by soldier ants and fire ants, I can vouch for their ability to destroy an opponent the equivalent of a skyscraper.

My grandpa used to spend entire summers stomping out ants on his sidewalk... maybe that's where my OCDish comes from... and when I visited, I was right there with him, studying these little machines just before grinding them to dust with my tennis shoe. I never felt good about killing the ants, but killing ants is the 12 Mile, Ind., equivalent of watching television.

A few months ago we started noticing the occasional rogue ant in the bathroom or the kitchen. And a couple weeks ago we noticed a river of ants climbing the post outside our back door. I don't particularly like the neighbors, so I was fine to let the ants infiltrate their lives.

Then those little fuckers took a wrong turn.

I opened the pantry on Friday and saw about 20 scouts making themselves at home under the sugar, so I immediately relocated pantry items to my very spacious 14" by 24" kitchen counter and started to wage war. I sprayed them with cleaner, bug spray and pretty much anything else I could get my hands on. But they kept sneaking in.

Luckily Leiah was staying the night and she mentioned that her landlord had used Ant Terro at her condo when it had bad ants a couple of years ago. I called Chevy Chase Hardware, scooted over there, and procured this weapon of mass destruction.

Ant Terro is boric acid. The ants flock to it like elephants to a watering hole, forming a cute little ant daisy around a droplet. Then they drink it, guzzle it, fill themselves up with it until their butts swell. Then, they disappear.

Google says they go back to their houses, throw up like drunk fraternity boys after a night of binge drinking, and explode from the accumulation of gas in their bodies. See, ants, unlike frat boys, can't fart.

After they puke, all their little ant friends are like, mmmm, and they eat the barf and then they meet the same fate as their friends. Within 24 hours, all the ants inside and outside of our house were gone. And I had my gigantic counter space back.

Ant Terro is the bomb.

How 33 Looks... Downright Fancy.

Yes, I spent my 33rd birthday in the bed of a pick up truck at the drive-in movies eating fine cheeses,  drinking champagne, and watching Faster and Furiouser Five.

Creep.

(You should know that I have a huge final on Thursday. Which is why I have swept the kitchen, done the dishes, made dinner, and am now blogging.)

When I met Mack, he had a goatee. I didn't really mind the facial hair very much because the way his mouth is shaped, the hair doesn't really get in the way when you give him a kiss. In other words, it's not all scratchy and awful and chapped-lip-causing. And it kind of gives his sulky, asshole-y look a dark and sexy twist.

In the 8 years that we have been together, his chin has never made an appearance, a fact that I, of course, attributed to some horrific defect that he didn't want me to see so that I could tease him about it. There is a mole in there -- I've seen parts of it -- so I knew something was up.

Well, Mack shaved. His entire face. Of all its hair. Down to a naked chin.

On his way to bare, he was nice enough to humor me and try on a few "hair looks," including my fave, the Fu Manchu. We'd just watched this SNL digital short, so the creep stache was also a must-do. We had a menu of looks, a fresh ladies razor, and probably 10 tests to study for. Welcome to our life.

Bearded (which I don't like)

Chops (which I kinda like)

Soul patch/stache combo (okay, kinda like it)

Creep Stache with FULL CHIN EXPOSURE!!! Someone save me.