Halloween. Also known as Therapy.

I spent most of my weekend assuming an alernate persona and doing devilish things, so today I'm just wearing a t-shirt with a bat and a creepy tree on it.

Leiah came to Lex for the festivities and dressed up as a corpse bride. We only got a TINY bit of satisfaction destroying her old wedding dress, and running over it in the car was totally Leiah's idea. I swear she spent 20 minutes dragging that gown up and down the sidewalk, and there may have been a knife involved in the destruction process. See, Halloween is therapeutic.

Leigh is terrified of clowns, so she also used Halloween as a therapeutic tool, in her case immersion therapy. From the top hat on her head to the striped stockings on her toes, she dressed the part and ended up being too cute to be scary.

I'm still not sure what I was doing this year. I just wanted to be infested with spiders and discovered my hair's extraordinary ability to be teased into unbelievable heights... let's just go with Spider's Nest. I think this was my subconscious inspiration.

This year was the first year I made wounds out of latex and toilet paper, creating spider boils on my face and hands, road rash on Leiah's back, and rotting flesh on the side of Leiah's face. I sort of want to play with latex all the time now.

We didn't host a party this year (it is on for next year though since it will be our last Halloween in Kentucky), but we did go to an awesome Bridezilla party hosted by a lesbian couple who just got married.

After that party we hopped on the trolley and headed downtown to investigate other alter egos unleashed by the Halloween spirit. I feel like the trolley is my own personal taxi service because no one is ever on it, it's absolutely free, and the drivers are so nice.

One of my favorite encounters was with the Terminator. Leiah, of course, wanted to eat him. We also ran into a crawdad, a cowgirl, Maverick from Top Gun, (a young and much sexier) Hugh Heffner, the Hamburglar, a rag doll, a mouse, and, scariest of all, a bald Republican in a Polo shirt. They were pretty good costumes, but nothing like a Spider's Nest.

Any Random Weekend

One of my favorite things about being a grown up is the weekend. Or rather, one of my favorite things about being a grown up without kids is the weekend.

We generally make no plans on the weekend. Sometimes we'll schedule a trip to Louisville to snuggle babies and eat yummy food made by my mom and dad, but usually we just let Saturday and Sunday take shape however they want. I'm always amazed at how easily they fill themselves up, and not just because we sleep until at least 10:30.

One Sunday we took a walk downtown and ended up stopping at the Kentucky to watch a movie. Another Saturday we ended up on a 25-mile bike ride along the Legacy Trail and back. And there was that one time we took an impromptu tour of thrift stores for no good reason. We never know what we're going to get into, and even if it's just our pajamas and schoolwork, it's always more relaxing since it's unplanned.

A few weeks ago, though, was the most random Saturday ever. Mack had a test to study for and I had my boot camp consultation, so I left the house, got Leigh, and went to the park for our evaluation.

Well, the trainer had the puke disease that I'd picked up one random Saturday at Bike Prom, so our morning plans were squashed. We had a chunk of nothing to do, and then Leigh said, "Batting cages."

We were off.

That is how random is done.

Yeah, do NOT do a Google image search for giant squid.

Patrick of SpongeBob SquarePants? Okay. Kitteh shafting a squid toy? I get it. Giant squid engaged in a wrestling match? I can even understand that. But topless Asian lady? Where the hell did that come from?

We all go a little crazy sometimes.

I've started taking a boot camp fitness class. And it's all because of this.

Nooo, it's not because I'm becoming a lesbian.

I visited Heather a couple months ago and she started showing me all these pics from Tough Mudder. Because I really only enjoy playing volleyball, riding my bike casually, or taking walks to get a beer, I had no idea these new mud/race/obstacle courses were all the fitness rage. FINALLY. A fitness rage that actually sounds fun.

While Heather and I have a lot of differences, we both love a challenge, we both love spending time together, and we both love getting dirty. Our preferred quality time activities include cabinet installation, bedroom renovation, and compost distribution, so doing a muddy obstacle course was right up our alley.

We got to work training and kept each other motivated by sending before texts and after pictures.

The Hotness Collection

We thought about doing a Warrior Dash instead of a Tough Mudder, but we ultimately signed up for a Rugged Maniac. I told you this was a fitness rage.

For race day, Heather outfitted us in customized electric pink shirts with magical wicking power (something I never knew about) and pink camo bandanas. I added some hot pink nail polish, neon lip gloss, and pink mascara. Sufficiently geared and glammed, we were ready to get messy.

That Rugged Maniac was one of the most fun things I've ever done. The goal was just to finish, so we didn't exhaust ourselves running the whole thing. We just did our best on all the obstacles, completed every single one, and tried to help other people when we could.

Highlight of the whole thing for me? When I scaled that 8' wall all by myself. Low point? My first attempt at scaling that 8' wall all by myself when I fell on my ass and into a backward roll of awkward. Favorite part? Going down that water slide, holding hands with Heather, plunging into an icy, muddy pool, and coming up breathless and laughing.  If every 5K can be like that, sign me up.

Meet the New Neighbors.

The fatties who used to live upstairs moved out, and a pair of granola, earth-loving DJ sisters moved in. Instead of waking up to whale sex at 5am, I wake up to Katie playing her viola because, unlike Fatlock and his pursuit of a law degree, she's majoring in music.

Also, this lady moved in. She's been on our back porch all week, coming out at dusk, cleaning up her quarters, and keeping us in awe of her ability to pull a house out of her ass. I hope she stays all month and have mounted !Spider Alert! signs both inside and outside to make that happen.

Those of you who love Jesus might appreciate the crucifix on her back, which is how she got the name Neoscona Crucifera.

This sent me on quite a stroll.