There's this tree that's planted all over Lexington's suburbia called Bradford Pear. It's one of the first to bloom every spring, which is why I think developers planted them all over suburbia, and when it blooms it sprouts these cute little white flowers.
When it blooms it also sprouts the aroma of unkempt vagina, half dried semen or sex in a dirty sock.
a bouquet of vaginaPerhaps you've been too struck by the beauty of this tree, too grateful for its trumpet of springtime to really evaluate its smell... but I haven't. There are 10 of them densely packed right outside my front door (which is, admittedly, not in suburbia) and when I open everything up to let the outside in, I get a little too intimate with the scent of backseat teenager sloppy sex.
And that is really hampering my springtime euphoria.
one of the 10 offenders outside my door
6 comments:
OMG - I love to look at these trees, but HATE their aroma ... running anywhere near them is HORRIBLE. I'm glad you started the rant and not me ... you have a much better way with words : )
yeah... they are by far my least favorite tree... ask anybody i see on a consistent basis and you'll find out that i bitch constantly about the Bradford Pear until every one of those little white blooms are gone... damn trees
I hate those things. They stink. Steve has one right by his patio. I really think that Lexington plants those dumb things because they are cheap...how else are you going to sell them. ugh. I am so glad you wrote this. This will certainly be a prereq for a new house: NO Stinky Trees.
Don't worry, the Dogwoods will be here soon to save the day. I had no idea there were so much Bradford Pear hate within my group of friends. Interesting!
Lauren and I have always known these as the gism trees.
Jennifer
Ohh, I like calling them gism trees. I also like the idea of naming them something more appropriate and accurate than Bradford Pear... maybe something like Deceptivis Spunkis.
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