EMPLOYMENT ALERT: I got a job. As a nurse. In an emergency room.
EMPLOYMENT ALERT: I have no idea when I start. Also, I am clueless about what to do in the event of an emergency.
While I've been jumping through some hoops called "Advanced Cardiac Life Support" and "Advanced EKG Interpretation" and "Medical Check-ups" and "Live Scan" that eventually, hopefully deliver me to gainful employment, I've been working some flu shot clinics.
A flu shot clinic involves me sitting at a table asking hundreds of people about egg allergies, recent illnesses, and pregnancy plans. Then it involves me stabbing them in the arm and doing Research.
Here are some random things I have learned from doing Research.
- Asians have bouncy skin. I mentioned this to Mack and he said, That's because their skin is hyperglobulous and bouncified, except he used the correct terms. I had no idea this was a thing that existed in skins of Asian descent. Thank you, Research.
- Men with tattoos are usually the ones who are most afraid to get shots. They're looking the other way and trying to take a mental vacation while you shoot for the eye of the skull and crossbones inked on their deltoid. Which is usually large.
- Guys, you aren't gonna be able to roll that sleeve up over your shoulder. Just unbutton it and do the drape.
- Ladies, you need to lift some weight. Some of you gals have scrawny little arms and my needle is 1.5" and supposed to go all the way in. When it's all the way in, it's not supposed to feel like I'm hitting your bone. Do 10 push-ups right now.
- Some people are Bleeders and there is no way to tell who will be a
Bleeder. The Bleeders just like to bleed. I underestimated one Bleeder
and her shirt caught what my gauze missed. Most people aren't Bleeders,
and for that, I (and everyone in line after you) am grateful.
I'm a lover of all vaccines, all the time. So far, I'm mostly safe from yellow fever, meningitis, polio, tetanus, pertussis, diphtheria, measles, mumps, rubella, and hepatitis B, and I'm hoping to get the HPV vaccine even though I'm married because I just like to have a complete collection. I'm getting my flu shot tomorrow when I jump through that Medical Check-up hoop, and I'm really hoping I'm not a Bleeder. Or a crier.
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4 comments:
Woohoo! Employment! I can't wait to hear all about it. Ya know, except for the stuff that HIPPA won't let you tell us :)
lol. I noticed in RN school what huge babies people with tattoos are. I've pointed this out to a couple of them and get real defensive very quickly.
Lisa
Yay for jobs and jabs!! We are 50% flu shot compliant in our house, and given that it feels like full blown winter in October the slacker and child he's in charge of need to get on it...
I hope you're also watching reruns of ER as prep. Those nurses ran a tight ship on that show. Grey's Anatomy may also provide some pointers, especially for when you and Mack make out in the on-call rooms : )
Jen, whenever Mack has to work an overnight call I always tell him he better not be having sex in the on-call room. One night he sent me a picture of it and it had all the mood of a prison cell... but I will be starting while he is on his Med ER rotation. Actually that is so gross. Never gonna happen.
GET YOUR SHOT, MIKE!
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