Como un presidente

After two years of travel for work, Mack has earned some epic awards and decided to cash in on his elite status by booking us a week in Cozumel at the Hotel Presidente. I wasn't mad about it.

Our room was on the second floor and looked out right over the beach. Every day started by opening the curtains and looking out at beautiful blue water, boats full of people in pursuit of fun, and puffy white clouds. We got very spoiled and our brains were poisoned into needing to live in this kind of place.

I did manage to go do a workout most days we were there, thanks to Jen's motivation. That was literally the most productive thing I did. The rest of the time I did this.

There were two snorkeling areas, one right in front of our room and another at the other end of the property. So our day started outside our door and progressed about 500 yards down the beach, with restaurant pit stops in between. We took dips in the mostly warm water and looked at beautiful fish playing around a sunken catamaran. I even saw a sting ray fly by!

Everytime we got in the water these decent-sized silver fish came up to us and followed us around. We named them the Welcoming Committee. They'd get so close that every now and then you'd catch a glimpse of one peripherally right by your body and have a little heart attack.

Like a little Secret Service, that Welcoming Committee is.

When we got bored of laying around and snorkeling, we'd walk the grounds. In a nod of Mayan culture and iguanas, the hotel had built these little ruins with PVC tunnels for iguanas to hunker down in.

We also discovered this amazing rainforest tree, which we revisited several times throughout the week. One night we walked down there after stuffing our faces to stretch our bellies and it was full of bats. They were zipping here and there and I freaked out. Mack was like, CHILL, but I couldn't get chill with speed demons almost dive bombing my head. He tried to make me love them by saying, they're just eating mosquitos. He lies tries.

Speaking of stuffing our faces, we did that every day. At first it was twice a day, but then we started to feel extra gross so it became a snack and one face stuff. We had a Mediterranean seafood place, a Mexican place, and a beach pizza place to choose from. One night I had distilados... and a delusion that I was knowledgeable about them... at a restaurant that had this lighting feature on its menu. I have some aunts and uncles who'd love this feature (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, TINA & TONY).

After eating, dodging bats, and looking at stars, we had a little hot tub soak. Life was hard as an elite presidente. It's probably time for Mack to go back to work so we can get another free retreat.