Itineraries

Monday, April 9
Depart Los Angeles for Cincinnati at 11 am
Arrive in Cincinnati at 8 pm
Fall victim to PST / EST time shift and stay up until 3 am hoping the Sopranos comes on hotel-provided HBO

Tuesday, April 10
Meet with people more important and concerned with business than I am and pretend that I belong in the room
Drink coffee all day long to account for the time shift
Perfect delivery of the presentation that I came here to do because I've done it twice an hour for four hours
Wait for eyelids to revolt against me and my self-induced sleeplessness
Overcome tongue's refusal to enunciate

Wednesday, April 11
Meet with people more important and concerned with business than I am and pretend that I belong in the room
Drink coffee all day long to account for the time shift
Perfect delivery of the presentation that I came here to do because it's basically the only thing I've said for two days in a row
Wait for eyelids to revolt against me and my self-induced sleeplessness
Overcome tongue's refusal to enunciate
Hit hotel bar to kill time and the serious facade I've been holding up all day long
Open hotel door to see five of the seven most important people in the world
Win back the love of nephew and cultivate the love of other important people
Eat birthday cake
Keep the lump squarely in place in throat as the last of the lovelies drives away from valet

Thursday, April 12
Meet with people more important and concerned with business than I am and pretend that I belong in the room
Drink coffee all day long to account for the time shift
Perfect delivery of the presentation that I came here to do because I've said it so many times it will probably make up 90 percent of my last words on this planet
Don't worry about eyelids because I could do this presentation in a coma
When tongue actually stops working and I spew word vomit, talk right through it and relish at how the other people in the room didn't even notice
Go to Cincinnati airport at 3:50 to catch 4:50 flight to Los Angeles
Contain frustration when flight is delayed three hours by having a dirrrty martini

Friday, April 13 - Monday, April 16
Regular, grateful days without an airport or a hotel involved
Buy a new couch so favorite past time of laying on couch with Mr. T can resume
Groan about airports and hotels that are upcoming

Tuesday, April 17
Depart Los Angeles at 7 am and arrive in San Francisco at 8:30 am
Begin whirlwind interviews with women for work
Learn more than I ever needed to know about tantra and how cults are formed so easily in San Francisco
Eat affordable sushi with pitchers of Sapporo and some of the coolest people in California
Fall in love with San Fran and ask myself repeatedly, why did we ever move to Los Angeles when this was here all along?

Wednesday, April 18
Continue whirlwind interviews with women for work
Manage to exist despite impending exhaustion
Pray I don't get sick
Admire the Golden Gate Bridge
Drink Fat Tire at a corner sports bar
Sleep like a baby

Thursday, April 19
Finish whirlwind interviews with women for work
Head to airport for 8:50 pm flight
Groan when flight is delayed until 10:16 pm
Pray the San Fran fog opens enough for me to escape
Arrive in Los Angeles at 11:45 pm
Meet Mack at the curb at LAX and realize I'm starting to forget what he looks like
Sleep next to my favorite warm body for six hours

Friday, April 20
Return to LAX at 9 am for 10:50 am flight to Louisville
Watch Babel without subtitles and the Devil Wears Prada until laptop battery dies
Recharge battery to 40 percent at layover in Denver
Keep excitement of seeing family contained
Arrive in Louisville at 7:40
See my lovelies and finally find peace amidst the chaos of life