A few months ago some friends from work and I went out to grab a pint at the Irish pub, and after celebrating happy hour priced Guiness, a full-on arm wrestling match broke out. I was undefeated against the girls, but to be fair, they're all about 5'2" and 115 pounds. Mack went undefeated against the boys, even causing an unexplainable shoulder ache in my friend Joe. That means we were the official power couple... physically speaking.
I wrote that off as an isolated incident and assumed that since I was undefeated against my friends that my liquid love of wrasslin' could be contained. Then Gio and Whitney had a party a couple months later, which meant girls I hadn't met before and an endless supply of decorative tequila. Which meant incident number two involving arm wrestling. I left that party still undefeated... and grateful that I hadn't taken it up a notch and brought out the leg wrestling. 
And then on Friday, Guitar Hero night rolled around. And somehow, with the aid of margaritas, I ended up rolling around on the floor taking Mack's judo moves, trying to choke out Gio, and trying to take down Jay. Luckily no one was "hurt," even though the bruises give evidence to the contrary. My good friend Amy, who trades licks with me when my liquid alter ego gets a little punchy, once suggested I go to Beaters Anonymous to keep my aggression in check. Who needs Beaters Anonymous when you've got friends?
7 comments:
I still think BA would have been a good idea... my shoulder hurts just thinking about it... ouch... man...
ummm...you write this post as if you are surprised that you have aggression issues????? Hello, how many toes have you broken in that oh so friendly jostling way that you have? Beaters anonymous is a good idea.
I agree, BA is something you should check out. My toe still hurts right before a big rain...
Nonetheless, this post is hilarious and I can't wait to see you in 2 weeks!
It looks like you're flashing "blold" not "blood"
I was drunk, Taraneh. That's what a slurred gang signal looks like.
Beware!! She's been drinking and she hits when she's been drink! I think you are softening it a bit by calling what you do "Wrasslin'." Beating is more accurate...that is why it is called Beaters Anonymous not Wrasslers Annonymous.
I think it is poetic that you are flashing "blood". I know what courses through your veins. Your male contributer was a bonafide champion wrestler, and never turned down a good arm wrestling challenge. He went out of his way to wrestle a live black bear(as opposed to a stuffed one, which is what he'd have to do now in order to win). His excitement over the experience was feverish. He had his picture taken with the bear. Maybe he is a pack-rat, too, and still has the photo. His spirits-enhanced true ego got him into some macho-man challenges that to my estimation were "red-neck" and to the cops estimation were illegal so he visited the clink. It was something I tolerated, and then I did the count: one-two-three I'm out.
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