I don't think you're a bad guy. In fact, as far as Republicans go, you've always seemed somewhat mild mannered and reasonable. If I shared a table with you at a wedding, I wouldn't find it altogether miserable, and I certainly wouldn't rub my armpit on your chair and swab my crotch with your napkin, which is what I think Republicans usually deserve (except Jennifer, who I love). But as a presidential candidate?
John, come on. You're turning 100 years old soon. You admit you don't use the Internet. You've got that weird thing where your arms are stuck like Barbie's, which I'm sure is probably from all that torture you survived but it's still weird looking. You're not bad; you're just not right.I don't deny that you are an asset to the United States, that you have served more and better than I would be willing to, that you make the Republican Party (except Jennifer, who I love) seem less insane and evangelical. But this presidential campaigning is just wearing you out.
It doesn't help that the guy you're running against is not only charismatic and charming and brilliant and deliberate and affirming and confident and stoic, but he's also young and sexy. Well, younger and sexy. When you try to come off as young and hip against Obama, you look older than ever. And it hurts me to watch, especially when all those idiots in your party (except Jennifer, who I love and who is not an idiot) start whining on your behalf after they've made you do things they couldn't stand up to the scrunity of.
So, pack up your dignity, hold onto your self respect, go back to being a rational right winger, and act your age. It'll help you save face, I promise.
Love,
Miss Thomas
7 comments:
Jennifer is a Republican?!
Lisa
Hard to believe, I know. We're praying for her salvation :)
Yes, it's true, I'm a republican! But, I do share some democratic values and would have voted for Hilary over McCain if she'd made it through the primaries. My McCain-Palin bumper sticker should be arriving any day now... (totally not kidding)
And, to confirm. McCain can't reach his arms above his head because he was a POW and TORTURED for all of those years.
Totally not trying to be confrontational at all here, but how could you be Hillary minded and then shift to McCain? In my mind they are at totally opposite ends of the spectrum. And about the only thing Palin and Hillary share is their gender.
When you get here, I am so putting you in an Obama shirt. Then you will feel the magic.
One word: Experience.
Fair enough.
Experience doing what? The guy at El Pollo Loco has experience making burritos but I wouldn't vote for him to be president. What experience did Lincoln have? Is leading the country a tedious, bureaucratic job that is best filled by someone with "experience" or does it require someone with vision. If you put Obama's vision for America next to McCain's, which would you prefer to live in? The one filled with fear and suspicion of outsiders, clinging to an old economic system that rewards good ole boys who have a stake in energy and the military industrial complex? Or perhaps one where the African-American son of a single mother in the south side of Chicago can grow up to be president. The whole experience thing to me is nothing more than a talking point; and to compare the ethos of McCain and Clinton and suggest that one can agree with either based on common experience sounds a bit dishonest to me. Sorry to call you out but I took a page from the Republican book and have instituted a "Zero-Tolerance" policy on murky political beliefs.
PS Palin has admitted to the following:
-Not believing in Climate Change ( man-made or otherwise)
-Seeking to ban books in Alaska libraries
-Stating that God wants to build a pipeline through the ANWR
-Being a Creationist
-Appropriating 200+ million bucks for the "Bridge to Nowhere" then deciding against it after the shitstorm yet keeping the money
Do you believe that these are the qualities of a good vice president?
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