Dear Josephine Z. Griggs,
I've been getting a ton of email from your company lately, and I assume you keep contacting me because you're desperate for a response. I appreciate very much you bringing your product to my attention and for reaching out to me so frequently each day. I hope that by answering all of your questions in this forum, you will see that, while I'm sure your offer will change many lives, I do not have a need for it at this time. I'm also good on my Cialis supply, so you can quit sending me those notices as well.
Tired of being ashamed of your penis size?
-- No, not really. In fact, I've never in my life felt ashamed of my penis size.
Does your penis size ruin your life?
-- I think if it was any bigger it would, but in its current state, no it doesn't. Gosh, thanks for asking.
Have you ever heard this, "No way! Your penis is so small!"?
-- I doubt any person ever has. I know I've never said it, and I can't imagine any woman I know ever saying it.
Didn't you feel like a loser?
-- Because even after 10 pancakes I still couldn't get the hang of how to flip them? Yes. Because my penis isn't visible to the naked eye? No.
Don't let ladies prefer vibrator to you!
-- Vibrators can't give foot rubs, so men will always have a place.
Megadik will bring you to your sexual dreams! You must believe in this excellent preparation!
-- If Megadik is the answer to my sexual dreams, I am entirely devoid of any imagination. And I won't believe in "this excellent preparation" because that just sounds too weird to believe.
"Wow! Your penis is impressive!" Isn't that what you just love to hear?
-- I would freak out if someone said that to me. Especially if it came from my husband.
Soon you'll be the only one they will desire!
-- Goody. When? Will I have to dress up?
Megadik is your magic weapon!
-- And here I was thinking it was my guacamole recipe.
No more lonely nights! The new era of big penis begins!
-- It gets it own era?!! Then it should come with a museum, a board of directors and a slate of investors.
NOTHING compares to the feeling of having a larger penis.
-- I'm thinking the feeling of eating a good dessert probably comes close.
New size for Men especially for new feelings of women at once!
-- So much simultaneous newness.
You can increase the time of your sexual act.
-- Fine, as long as it doesn't run into prime time.
For every men of different ages unique decision!
-- Poor men. I *heart* my privates.
Hope that clears up any confusion. Thanks for taking me off your list, and good luck with your massive endeavor!
Love,
Amber
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3 comments:
You're very witty lately and I like it! Keep me laughing please!
she's stalking me as well. i ignored the emails until the megadik arrived in my spam. such a simple name for a grandiose product. it makes me think of robots.
I remember when the thought of a penis made you gag. Do they know who they are peddling their products to? Men and their penis - such an insecure relationship. My guess is all that sensitive, easily hurt tissue carry transference feelings to the brain.
You are a very funny woman. Enjoy your dessert.
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