Attack of the Killer Geese

It started out early, mostly because Liz was involved. Even in the midst of the worst hangover of your life, Liz will rise at dawn and sneak into your room to wake you up. Basically, she needs someone to play with, and even if you're still stuck on Cali time, 9 am is the latest she can stand. So, her familiar footsteps came into my tired world and lulled me into life. I was grateful, since it was the most beautiful day we've had all year.

This was Thursday. I was off work all day. Liz and I drank hot tea and chit chatted until Leiah showed up and we all went to get lunch at Good Foods. I caved and bought a slice of carrot cake for us to share. Liz and I ended up sharing it until only one bite was left for Leiah (okay, I have a problem), but in our defense, Leiah eats so slowly! It was the perfect start to a perfect day.

After lunch, Leiah lounged on the hammock while Eli and I weeded the bulb garden. The tulips had trumpeted the arrival of Spring and the hyacinths had perfumed the air, so pulling dandelions was an unnatural treat. All we needed to make it perfect was Mack to wake up and bring us some fresh lemonade.

Leiah had to go to class, and then Eli had to go retrieve her charges from class, and in contemplating her departure she mentioned driving through Harrodsburg to get to Danville. I've driven that route probably four times in my life, the most recent on a trip to get Shan from a cycling adventure, and I'm always amazed at how beautiful it is. You go through beautiful countryside, then wind your way across the Kentucky River, and climb out into pristine pastures. The mention of it was enough to get me and Mack in the car and on our way, despite $2.59 gas prices.

I took my camera and Mack took his literature book, we grabbed a blanket and a couple bottles of water, and we were off to Shakertown. After parking we walked toward the lake and wandered until we encountered King Goose.
I've never encountered King Goose before. Most of the geese I've met basically diarrhea everywhere and want bread. King Goose was my first taste of aggressive goose, and Mack, being the naturalist that he is and having a supernatural exposure to animals, was fearless in the face of King Goose. He knew all the King's tricks, and played along, letting King Goose win in the end, for the sake of a few innocent laughs.
I never knew how much geese like to bite butts. It was hilarious. Every time we'd try turn to walk away, King Goose would put his head low to the ground and charge our butts. His little goose butt would wobble back and forth and he'd stick out his tongue and show off its serrated edges. It was wild.

We couldn't get close enough to see what he was so fussy about, but we assumed it was a nest he was protecting. He had a Queen Goose, but she was quiet and kept eating things she found on the grass. I think she was even annoyed at him. He was ridiculously protective, going to the point of flying across the lake to scare off possible intruders.

Mack tried to get me over my fear of the charging King Goose by having me point my butt towards it and let him charge.
Yeah, I lasted about a second. Who knew posturing was so effective? Here I am, weighing six times what this goose weighs, with a hand strong enough to end its life if I wanted, and I was tucking my evolutionarily destroyed tail and running for the hills upon being charged. I was definitely what farm boys would call a sissy.

Mack's fearlessness comes from having been hunted by these birds on several occasions before. He's also unafraid of preying mantids, spiders, roaches, dogs (even German Shepherds that try to eat Venus when we go on walks), cats, opossums, raccoons, snakes, monkeys, lizards of all sizes and hedgehogs. When we were in England a hedgehog went running across our path, and me and Shannon and Charles were all, "You better leave it alone. It's probably poisonous, or it has rabies and will bite you." Well, Mack had a hedgehog once in his life, and he picked this little guy up with his shirt, and it was the coolest thing I've ever seen. He looked like a little baby and his bristles were like natural needles. Us fraidy cats gathered around and learned a lesson that day.
Despite our newfound connection to nature, we still weren't as brave as Mack when, the day after Hedgehog 101, he tempted a swan with his thumb. I think I prefer being behind the safety of the lens, but I gotta say, put Mack in an outside ring with creatures, and you'll have endless fodder for capture.
King Goose didn't like us hanging around, but we managed to lay in the sun and practice cartwheels and look at sheep without pissing him off too much.
It was an amazing day, that one rare Spring day when the air is being cleaned by the sun, before the mosquitoes get here and after the frost has let the flowers come to life.