Heaven's to Betsy

My darling baby sister just left today after having a two-week Hollywood experience that kept me laughing in whispers. Just to recap, and to show her the evidence, here is a dose of her hilarity.

The first or second night we watched Hedwig and the Angry Inch, an endearing musical about a botched sex change operation. I love it. In it, a black man named Luther seduces Hansel (who later becomes Hedwig) and takes him from East Germany on the condition that he become a she so they can get married. Hansel agrees, while he's not singing in the oven. Here is Luther (also known as Maurice Dean Wint):

So the next night, we rent Requiem for a Dream, a troubling honest look at the rise and fall of heroin addicts with the mom from the Exorcist making an award-worthy appearance as a speed addict mother. Betsy, with all the passion of a know-it-all 18-year-old who prides herself of remembering faces boldly proclaims, "That's the guy from Hedwig!" about the pimpish guy who hosts sex parties for girls who need drugs but can't find them anywhere. "That's not him," I calmly countered. We bet $20 on it. This is that guy (also known as Keith David):

A few days later we headed to Melrose to do some shopping and stopped in to Johnny Rocket's to satisfy the hamburger cravings I've been having since being around Betsy. She is a feind for hamburgers to the same degree Seth is a Philly Cheesesteak junkie. While we ate, Wayne Brady, of Whose Line Is It Anyway? fame (and also of that hilarious skit on the Dave Chappelle show), sat at the next table, and Betsy got a few glimpses of her first real life celebrity. This is Wayne Brady:

So the next day, after spending a few hours watching the waves crash and reading about Fergie and what men want from sex in the latest issue of Cosmo, we headed to the bus stop to go home when Seth succumbed to his Cheesesteak addiction and we landed in a restaurant. On the way out, Betsy spotted an autographed photo and said, "Oh, look, it's him... that guy we saw yesterday." This is who the photograph pictured:

That's right. Cuba Gooding Jr. Who, it turns out, looks nothing like Wayne Brady.

Finally, during our last supper together at an Italian eatery, Betsy saw a celebrity she actually, truly, correctly recognized. Don Cheadle, who played the adorable cowboy radio salesman/porn star in Boogie Nights and Paul Russessabagina in Hotel Rwanda, sat back to back with Betsy.

He, his wife, and his two adorable daughters paid no attention to our stifled admiration, and Betsy and Seth posed casually for a photo with Don Cheadle's back in the background. We were so cool you'd never know we were getting a photo of him (even if it was just his back). I'm not sure if Betsy would have known who he really was if I hadn't told her, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt... mostly in appreciation for the laugh I got when she saw the Tupac impersonator in Holly wood and practically exploded and said, "Why is Tupac standing right there? Why is Tupac standing right there?" I still don't know if she knows he's dead, but I'm going to assume she does. I couldn't take it if she thought that guy was the real Tupac. Then she'd be so cute I'd have to eat her.