Theme Songs of Life

When Mack and I first started going out, I had to dump him. Because he went a little nuts and forced Shannon to hide the knives. I'd pretty much relegated him to the "missed his chance" pile until Shannon came home bragging about how he was such a beautiful piano player and how his family is so nice and how he is so respectful of his Momma. She even suggested this could be his theme song.

After all that lobbying on his behalf, the door was left cracked and he worked his way back in... with his autograph, a deposit slip and a bouquet of yellow flowers.

It may seem strange to have started a lifelong relationship with someone based on those credentials, but if you take a closer look, you'll see the common thread. Money.

Mack is money hungry. He's actually started to salivate when daydreaming about changing his name to Mack Moneyman. He gets it from his parents, and he is not alone. His brother is money obsessed. Even Laila steals gift cards from the Gap to pretend they are credit cards and has actually said, "Ooh, it smells so good... like money." The whole Thomas clan is driven to have money. Don't believe me? Here's Bubba's Myspace song.

All this obsession with money is why the Thomsascotts fit together so well. I hate money, couldn't care less about it, think it's to blame for all the divorces and wars in the world. The Thomases love it, credit it with health and happiness. And, as much as it sucks, their take on it is a little more right than mine, which is why it's nice for someone who ignores money almost to a fault to have someone who craves it almost to a fault.

I'm getting more used to this money thing as time goes on. I can actually look at budgets at work without feeling inappropriate. It's not as invasive as it used to be when Mack tells his parents how much money I make. I'm learning that money is as acceptable to talk about as sex has become. And, I've discovered that, when there's a lot of it, it really does have an intoxicatingly sweet smell.

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