Mmmmmmm. Vegannnnn.

I get a hankering for bakering sometimes, and when I do, it usually involves cupcakes. Specifically VEGAN CUPCAKES THAT ARE ABOUT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

My vegan cupcakes seldom turn out the way I intend. I mean, they turn out delicious, but there's always some *performance issue.

There's always been some problem with "falling," a crisis easily cloaked with a batch of homemade vegan buttercream icing and glamorous toppings. This time, the *performance issue involved a stubborn refusal to separate from the cupcake liner. (In defense of the recipe, I was out of cooking spray and had to finagle some impromptu "greasing techniques" that are not cookbook sanctioned.)

Yes, I made two batches to make sure the "falling" wasn't my fault. Yes, that type of determination required a Dos Equis. Yes, we ate paper. Yes, they were so delicious that we ate them, offered them to friends, and laughed on the inside as our friends also succumbed to eating paper in order to get at the deliciousness of VEGAN CUPCAKES THAT ARE ABOUT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

Here's where we go to worship vegan. You're invited. Yes, there is vegan mac and cheese, and it will probably save your life, so there. 

Here's how you can attempt to get your friends to eat paper so you can laugh at them. All in good health.

Lilly says, "I LOVE MY VEGAN-ISH
UNCLE. AND HIS HAIRY FACE."

VEGAN CARROT CAKE CUPCAKES

2/3 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
2/3 cup sugar (you can also use agave nectar)
1/3 cup vegetable oil (use 1/4 cup if you use agave nectar)
1/3 cup soy yogurt (plain or vanilla)
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup finely grated carrots
1/4 cup chopped walnuts for the cupcakes, 1/3 c. for sprinkling on top after icing
1/4 cup raisins


1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line muffin tin with 12 cupcake liners. Spray the shit out of them so your cupcake won't stick.

2. In a medium mixing bowl, mix together sugar, vegetable oil, yogurt, and vanilla. Sift in the dry ingredients (flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt and spices), and mix until smooth. Fold in carrots, walnuts and raisins.

3. Fill the liners 2/3 full. Bake for 26-28 minutes, until a toothpick inserted through the center of one comes out clean. Try not to let anything in your house move or else they may "fall." Whisper nice things to them. But not too loudly.

4. Once fully cooled, top generously with cream cheese frosting. And not that poison you buy at the store. I am doing a trial run of some cupcakes for an upcoming soiree, and today I looked at that store icing crap. Holy Ba-Jesus... 2g trans fats per serving!!! Vegan icing is uber easy and not going to kill you. Here's a recipe for Vegan Cream Cheese Icing that's great with these cupcakes.

VEGAN CREAM CHEESE ICING
1/4 c. non-hydrogenated margarine, softened (I use Smart Balance)
1/4 c. vegan cream cheese, softened (I use Tofutti)
2 c. confectioners' sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Cream together margarine and cream cheese until just combined. Use a handheld mixer to whip while adding the confectioners' sugar in 1/2 c. batches. Mix until smooth and creamy, then mix in the vanilla. Keep tightly covered and refrigerated until ready to use. No, it's not okay for your spouse to catch you eating it with your fingers just because it's not full of trans fats. NOTED.