Emoting.

My aunt Kathy died a horrific death last week. As part of my grieving process, I escaped the present and blanketed myself in old photos and 8mm video clips my dad, her brother Greg, gave to me a couple years ago. I didn't know Kathy very well lately, but the times I spent with her as a kid and a young adult were formative and are precious.

The things I remember most about Kathy are the giant birthmark she had on her arm, playing with her kids, my cousins Josh and Kristin, at her house on Otto Street, one time when I was very young and she used her food stamps to buy me Planters Cheese Curls, and a story she told me about slamming on the brakes in front of a cop that was riding her ass when she was 7 months pregnant. Why these moments with Kat keep bubbling to the surface of my mind more than any others, I have no idea. Memory is funny like that.

The thing I loved the most about Kathy was her wild streak, and that's probably what ultimately got her in the shape she was in at the end. Kathy joked after my grandpa had a fatal heart attack on the toilet that it was her criminal record that he'd chosen as reading material that did him in. She had a bright smile, one that squinted up her eyes and was usually followed by a deep laugh. She let me crash on her couch when I couldn't stay with my dad, she told me grown up jokes, and she refused to take herself too seriously. I think Kathy deserves credit for giving me the gift of self-deprecation, for shaping my sense of humor, and for that tiny speck of rebellion and criminal intent that is deep in my gut.

Because it's what I do, I set out to make a memorial video of my aunt Kathy. And because it is what I do, I started looking for some ideas to rip off, something that had music that really spoke to the spark that Kathy gave the world. My project isn't complete, but these things were just too amazing not to share.