New Fitzgerald

He came last night at 6:43 in a full on tug of war with his umbilical cord.

 

 

He weighed 8 lbs. 8.5 oz. and was 21" long. He came equipped with 100 different squeaks, all of which made us go 'Awwww' and 'Oooooh' and 'Hahahaha.' His head full of hair and his detached earlobes are from his daddy, and his long fingers and perfect cupid's bow are courtesy of his gorgeous mommy.

After about 13 seconds of seeing him, he had a grip on my heart that is still choking me up.

He, like his sister, will probably remain nameless for another day or so while his mom and dad get to know him and feel out a name that suits him, which is why we nicknamed him Fitzgerald months ago (thanks to Liz's suggestion).

For now, he is our sweet baby boy, the littlest cousin, the newest addition, one of us. And we continue to be incomprehensibly lucky.

UPDATE: We have a name. Kieron Sparrow Ellis. Never saw that one coming, which means it's just what I expected!

Anna Elizabeth Kelly. Yeah, I met her. Yeah, she stole my heart.

In the frenzy of life a couple weeks ago, I carved out a few hours and headed north to Cinci to meet Anna Elizabeth Kelly.

The first baby of one of my best friends, no one knew Anna was going to be an Anna until she arrived on May 14th... an early birthday present for me (thanks Jen!). Her parents are meticulous planners, so the fact that they didn't find out if they were having a boy or a girl basically means hell froze. I have no idea how Jen and Mike resisted knowing.

Anna was totally newborn when I met her, which means she was a gooey lump of limbs and sugar. I showed up during a diaper change, so I invited myself in and was treated to Anna's baby belly debut. She lost her button as I walked in, and I couldn't believe she was already that grown up.

Jen looked totally put together, as usual. She dressed Anna in a little kitty onesie and leopard print leggings and handed her over to Auntie Amber.

At which point, I turned into a blob of love and laid on the couch with a little piece of heaven on my chest.

Anna is such a good baby, so calm and cozy, literally a bundle of delicious goodness. I like a good baby, but what I like more than that is a baby with personality, and Anna was oozing personality at less than two weeks old. Just look at these facial expressions she's mastered in her short life... the pucker, the smirk, the whatchutalkinboutwillis, the fake sleep grin, the silencer, the happy baby. I'm telling you there will be a show someday called "That's so Anna."

I'd barely gotten my baby fix when I had to get on the road, so this is not the last you'll see of Anna. Jen and Mike have quite the Cincinnati lure now... seriously, look at these things.

Anna, it was so good to meet you, such medicine to hold you. I can't wait to teach you all sorts of funny faces as you grow up. Welcome to the awesome world of being a Taurus!

Any forgetting day now.

Last Monday was Leiah's due date. And now it's Sunday, and Lillian seems to have no desire to come meet us. Perhaps we should make brownies.

Poor Leiah has been sick as a dog for the last week, alternating between stuffed up and oozing, so maybe Lilly is being good to her momma and letting her recover a bit before going through the trauma of childbirth. And having a newborn. And being sleep deprived. And I'll stop there.

I can't wait for Lilly to get here. I've gone so far as to stimulate Leiah's left breast (the right one is sore) to try to induce labor, something that is probably totally annoying but that Leiah, in her sick and tired state, isn't motivated enough to fend off. Betsy and I tried to invent a have-the-baby dance that involved a lot of awkward squatting, but then company came over and we acted right.

I've been keeping my phone on me (MIRACLE), limiting my beer intake, and making sure I put an asterisk on commitments so I can leave at a moment's notice and go fill my role on the Welcoming Committee whenever I get the call. I've never been with one of my sisters when they've given birth to a baby, and I can't wait to support Leiah and share this overwhelming experience with her.

Also, I love babies.

Snow Day

I spent the day with the cutest boy alive today. We played in the snow, drank hot cocoa with marshmallows and whipped cream, did some fingerpainting, and went swimming. He told me he loved me about 50 times and that my boobs were gross. I knocked him down a lot and fake tried to drown him. We had a blast.

 

 

During our painting session we got to chatting, and out of the blue he said, "I had a boyfriend named God once. He was square with a round head." Turns out God had lots of guns and nets and "he also had the largest gun that could kill good people." Isn't he the best?

The First 48 Hours

Congrats to Will and Kristin for having one of the most delicious babies ever.

Naked. Pragnet. Lady.

Leiah has a better body 8 months pregnant than I had in my teens. Although in my teens I had one boob that was a C-cup and one that was a no-cup-necessary and my tenth year screwed my teens by lacquering some stretchmarks across my lower back, so that's not saying much.

Here she is at 7 months pregnant, looking more Baywatch in a bikini than I have on my best day. You know, if Baywatch had pregnant lifeguards.

As part of Leiah's shower (and because I like to take pictures), we did a little photo shoot and turned it into a slideshow to up the excitement surrounding the arrival of Lillian Blake. I think the photos we got were stunning, Leiah as gorgeous and serene as I've seen her in the past decade. It almost made me want to be pregnant... except that I'd get all fat and stretched and nauseous and angry and it would be awful. Plus, who would take care of that baby?

We're just a couple of days away from the end of Leiah's 8th month, which means little Lillian will be here in 36ish days! And I'll get all the joys of a new baby without all the sleep deprivation. I love my sisters.

And it IS a girl!!

Which proves I do know everything. Like we all suspected.
I don't know if you'll think this is as cool as I do, but my favorite thing about this ultrasound photo is this sweet baby girl's chin... or no chin, rather. When Ben was a baby, he also lacked a chin. And that meant there was nothing to stop his drool. And that meant he was a delicious drool factory.
I know the 4 month picture irks Leiah to death... that different pose and different bikini just makes her OCD twitchy... but I kinda like it. That swirly month of August needs something to make it stand out and this is a good visual for demonstrating that even when shit falls apart, you can put it all back together (and sometimes make it better) in less than 30 days.

Yea!! Another girl!!

Love Tours (part 3 of 3)

The finalish stop on the epic Love Tour of 2010 was northern Indiana for a family reunion. I'd literally been home about a week after Lake Charles when it was time to go again, but this time I had Shannon, Leiah, Renee, Ben and Sacagawea with me. Sacagawea is what we named my mom and dad's minivan last summer when my parents did a Lake-ation tour around Kentucky, and boy did she come through when it came to babies on the road.

We loaded up on road snacks (Doritos for the pregnant lady, beers for Aunt Shan the navigator, goldfish and fruit snacks for the babies) and left after Shan got off work on a Friday. The drive was pretty uneventful thanks to the in-van DVD player, but there were moments of toddler potty training emergencies. When they gotta go, they gotta go, and one time Renee, who'd been seduced by the promise of peeing in the grass at Aunt Tina's house, insisted she get to pee in the grass at the gas station. Luckily it backed up to a corn field, like most things in Indiana, so Auntie Am, Master of Peeing Outside in a Forward Squatting Fashion, helped Renee fulfill her dream of peeing in the grass.

There was also that Wizard of Ozian tornado that threatened us the last 11 miles of the trip, but Shan broke out a beer to cope with the fact that we may have to lay on top of babies in a ditch and everything was fine.

Once we got to Tina & Tony's house, things settled into awesome. I swear there were so many boys there it felt more like a fancy fraternity house than the residence of a middle-aged couple whose kids are grown. But then, really, that's just how Tina & Tony's house has always been -- the place to hang out, lose track of entire seasons, eat good food, and drink beer out of oversized cans.

Our cousins Nate and Tee showed the babies the kitty in the barn and gave the city kids a lesson in feeding sheep. I'm a proud member of the city kids. Then our cousin Andrea, with her due-soon belly, her husband Mitch, and her uber cuties Kennedy and Jaden, came over to hang out too. We crowded into the kitchen over one of Tina's famous veggie pizzas and talked way too much while Renee pushed one of Tina's chihuahuas around in a baby doll stroller.Saturday, after the babies had a nap, we hit the road to Hoover for a Scott family reunion at Uncle Carl & Aunt Bea's pig farm. We used to go swimming in the pond at the back of the farm when we were kids, and you'd have to drive through some of the grossest smells ever and a small creek to get there. They've moved the pigs somewhere downwind (thank god) and moved what used to be the bridge to my Grandma's house over the stream at Carl and Bea's. That's progress, 12 Mile-style.
Ben and Renee seemed to be having a nice time walking through the tall grass and over a bridge to a little island in the middle of the pond, which was drained for some reason. Leiah, Shan and I sat and watched them throw sticks and rocks into the empty hole, and Ben got his chance to pee outside, this time on a tree.

I am such a good influence.
The family reunion was good, although I greeted most of the people with, "Hi, I sort of remember playing with you. I'm Amber, of Greg." Weird for a family reunion, I know, but thanks to Facebook, next time I'll know who these people are. Although thanks to Facebook, they are probably dumbfounded at how they can be related to my Buddhistish Socialistish Unemployedistish ass.

At least the babies were adorable. Babies make everything better. Other people's babies that I am the auntie of, that is.

And I found my long lost foot twin. I always wondered who needed smacked for giving me these Flinstones... turns out it's all Scott.
Spending a couple hours at the pond helped Ben and Renee recalibrate their standards, so by the time we visited Aunt Becky, Uncle Vince and Cousin Isaac that evening, Ben had settled into running around shirtless and falling in the grass and Renee was just fine eating dirty strawberries out of the garden.
Our cousin Ryan came over to drink Miller High Life (it's better than low life, haha!) and introduce us to his fianceish Jessie.
We sat on the patio, cracking up at our hilarious Aunt Becky and trying to fight off the mosquitoes with citronella lamps. In the middle of one particularly painful laugh session, Uncle Vince came to the door from inside and said, "I just want you to know that the children are naked and I had nothing to do with it."

Then Ben in his Toy Story tennis shoes and Renee in nothing but her birthday suit came running out of the house having the time of their lives being crazy deliriously happy naked babies. Too bad they didn't pull that stunt at family reunion...

Becky's house had really felt the brunt of the storm from the day before (corn was blown sideways and trees were down everywhere), so we decided to go back to Tina's house since we weren't sure if they were going to get the power back on at Becky's. By the time we left, it was past 11 pm, we'd visited no less than 100 people and, holy smokes, there is only so much love to go around.

As we were pulling in to Tina's we got a text that Mitch, Andrea's husband, had collapsed at a wedding and was on the way to the hospital. What a panicked, awful night that was. Mitch spent a long time in a coma (he had something aneurysmish) but came out of it and is in therapy now. And Andrea just had her baby, Brogen Wayne, a couple days ago.
Finally, I am up to date! Ish.

All I'm Sayin' Is You Better Be a Girl

I know, I know, I promised you Africa and I owe you Liz's wedding and a family reunion and a full account of that impromptu open heart surgery that's officially a Scott tradition, but there's CPR classes and dieting and moving sisters and pregnant ladies that just keep getting in the way. Plus, I miss Jen.

It'll all be here this week or else it will be forgotten and we will move on/resume in present time.

In the meantime, here's Leiah, a rotund 17 weeks and counting. We're not sure yet if it's a boy or a girl, but we are certain it's Mexican. We are also certain that it will be wearing girly clothes if it is a boy. We are also certain that WE WANT A GIRL!

Let Freedom Ring

On July 3, the day before we left for Ghana, we had a little cookout/going away/4th of July party, complete with a grill, a cooler full of beer and a blow up swimming pool.

Then I got so busy with going to Africa, being in Africa and coming home from Africa, I am just now able to offer you, the six of you who can't live without glimpses into my life, this photo essay from that day.





After Africa, I am loving America extra hard right now. Stay tuned for so. much. more.

Love Tours 2010 (part 2.33 of 3)

After Gio's wedding, I had about 48 hours at home before it was time to set out on the second major phase of Love Tours 2010... the part that involves Liz and Chris.

But, since I am a weenie who doesn't like to do anything by myself, I got my wife, Leigh, to take a half road trip with me to Memphis. I figured, hmmmm, I ride with Leigh to Memphis, and then I'll only have 8 hours by myself from Memphis to Lake Charles.

Leigh found a one-way ticket back to Kentucky for $76 and it was a Memorial Day weekend plan. We were going to Memphis to visit Leigh's cousin.
I met Tara and her ridiculously cool kids at one of Leigh's family get togethers and it sort of felt like we were kindred spirits even though we were only around each other for about an hour. But when I walked into Tara's house in Memphis and saw all the art and heard her big laugh, it felt like being at home.

So much so that within an hour of being there, I took a shower and followed it with a nap on her couch.

Two of Tara's ridiculously cool kids were off on ridiculously cool adventures, but the youngest, Sam, was at home, and he, like Leigh, has magical eyes that put people in a trance and get them to hang on his every word.

And now, my love letter about Sam. Because I love him.

Sam is so cool. He draws robots with extensions that are specialized for flipping hamburgers and cleaning ceiling fans. He wears tie-dyed t-shirts and worries that pink corduroy shorts might make him gay. He walks from room to room carrying a hot wheel with three oozie-like things coming out the top and sometimes transforms it into a finger blaster with the addition of a rubber band. He likes cinnamon rolls and is quick to demonstrate his milk chugging prowess. His philosophy about brushing his teeth is why bother, they just fall out anyway -- a thought pattern affirmed by the loss of a cavity-filled molar an hour after brushing his teeth. His afro won't quit and neither with the pale sage green that makes up his eyeballs. He thinks Megan Fox is hot and wants to be an architect for about three years when he grows up, and then he's going to do a career change and become an artist like his mom. He's quick to take the fall in The Case of the Pipe Found on the Fridge, and when his interrogator asks, "If it's yours, then what do you put in it?" he curls his lips into a shape much older than he is and says, with a rasp in his voice, "Vodka."

He likes high fives, and he is about the most awesome 9-year-old I've ever met.

When I wasn't wishing I had as much swagger as Sam, I was running around Memphis eating at delicious places and drinking entirely too much. Tara, being an artist, is a natural at finding places with character, and whether it was coffee in the morning, salads at noon or fish tacos at night, she not only didn't lead us astray, she led us to delicious.

Blah, blah, blah and then I gained 6 pounds.

We went to the Trolley Tour art walk thing, which also happened to be the Zombie Walk. One Zombie had actual worms embedded in his wound and I tried to get him to eat Leigh but he was already full I guess.
Then we went to Silky Sullivan's on Beale Street and watched frat boys act like douchbags. After we'd downed about two gallons of some weak Kool-aid cocktail, we left Silky's and realized we should have been partying in the street. Frat boys trying to bang half naked chicks make for angry people watching; provocative dancing black people partying in the street make for great people watching.
Tara got us a hotel downtown so we wouldn't have to drive. We headed there and Leigh introduced me to her 19-step face washing routine. There were so many bottles I couldn't keep it straight the entire weekend, but Leigh is such a good wife she'd just line them up in order for me. I don't think it worked, but since the regime costs hundreds of dollars, I stuck with it and tried to force a glow.

The next night, I managed to convince them to go to a sports bar with me to watch Rampage fight Rashad in the UFC fight. I mean, Memphis is Rampage's hometown, so I knew it was going to be a blast of a crowd. I made his photo my wallpaper on my iPhone and started howling when appropriate. Which was not too often.
Leigh and Tara said they had a good time. And for that, I'd like to thank Patron Tequila. I had a great time, and for that, I'd not like to thank Rampage who got knocked out and made me really bummed.

I think our last 24 hours in Memphis were my favorite, so much so that I didn't want to leave. We went to a tequila bar and sampled about 10 types of tequila. Then we ate really good queso and fish tacos and there I go talking about food again. I am an addict.

While we were sitting on the patio, a lively discussion broke up between these guys and girls next to us, and it got so crazy we just couldn't ignore it anymore. So we butted in and Leigh secretly told the girls to never admit to anything and I asked one of the boys if he was religious because he was wearing a rosary and he informed me that that's just the fashion. Also the fashion is to make sure your hat matches your shoes. Just FYI.
We were having so much fun we relocated to another place that was staying open, and Tara's friend Evan helped us fine tune our gaydar.

The next morning we got up, went to eat yet another delicious lunch, browsed through some adorable shops, and then settled in, made dinner, drank wine and watched a movie.

About a million of my favorite things happened in the 4 days I was in Memphis, and I think I may have found another good wife.

No, I am not a lesbian... and even Evan agrees. I just think wives are awesome and good ones are hard to come by.

Special Deliveries

This one should be here in December.
And this one is due in January.
Hooray for fresh babies!!! Congrats to these amazing mommies!! Woo hoo for Aunt Ammies!!

Forget Beyonce. I'd like to dance like this instead.

All the single babies, all the single babies...

Triple Threat

I have these cousins known as the Gullers who we got from the marriage of my mom and dad, so I've known them since I was about 8. Before we moved to Louisiana, I used to love to go to their fancy house to go swimming in their in-ground pool. Most of them were a lot older than I was, but the baby of the family, Angie, was a teenager then and she was always so nice and sisterly to us. I remember thinking the way she talked was a hoot... the details are blurry but I have a distinct memory involving Wisconsin.

Angie is, of course, grown up now, and she, like her sisters, has an adorable life that is much deserved because she, like the rest of her family, is as nice as a person can possibly be. After one family reunion in Louisville, Angie, her fiance Brendan, her brothers, our cousins Kelly and Shannon, our Aunt Carol and Shannon (my sister) and I went to the pub and discovered we were kindred spirits. Then we went to her wedding in St. Louis and had a blast secret dancing. Then we cheered her on when she got on the show While You Were Out to turn part of her house into an Irish bar for Brendan, who is also supremely adorable. And then she went on to have a couple of adorable little boys, Dylan and Drew, who are 3 and 2.
I guess when you're as good at adorability as Angie is, you may as well go for it. So she and Brendan decided to have one more baby...

Silly rabbits.

My dad's mom had twins, one of which is Angie's mom, so multiples run in the family. But Angie got triplets this time. Triplets! That's like genetic's dirty joke.

We got to see Angie over the summer when we went to our cousin Kevin's wedding, and I swear, she is the most adorable pregnant with triplets lady ever made.
But despite carrying three babies better than I would with one, Angie's baby quarters got cramped and Jack, Emma and Grace decided to relocate to roomier digs on Jan. 16, at just over 33 weeks.

Because they weighed all of 3 and 4 pounds when they were born, they've spent the last couple weeks in the hospital but should be going home soon.

And that's when the real fun will start.

I really cannot wrap my mind around how insane life with 5 under 5 is going to be. My family can barely potty train the toddlers we have... and we share them among 9 adults. Can you imagine? Changing diapers for three infants and one toddler and wiping the butt of the other one? Feeding two toddlers one thing and three infants another. And somehow still managing to bathe, feed yourself, go to the grocery store, answer the phone, not jump off the roof?

I don't know how Angie and Brendan are going to do it, but I know that they will and they'll do it with their beaming smiles across their faces because that's just the way they are. They were born with that ability to count their blessings before giving an ounce of attention to their struggles.

And three simultaneous blessings have got to be pretty impossible to ignore.

Potty Talk

It's toddler potty training time in our family! Which means that as an aunt, I have to assume responsibility if I'm the only adult around when a kid says they need to use the potty even if I have no idea about the potty routine!

For instance, there was that one time Ben went to go potty and said I had to hold it. I lifted up his shirt thinking it was in his way and thus qualified as the "it" that needed holding, but he whined that wasn't right. I asked again what he needed me to hold, he gave another whiny ambiguous answer, and we shared a very confusing moment in potty training history. I called his mom to ask what was up with holding Ben's boy part for him when he peed, and she was like, "Uhhh, we don't do that. Don't know where he got that. But thanks?"

Which is why I'm glad kids don't form lasting memories until they're 3.

Somewhat related but too cute to pass up, Ben got new big boy panties for Christmas and was so excited he put them on as soon as he opened the package... outside of his jammies. Don't they just look great with his new Buzz Lightyear shoes???Renee is also potty training, but since I'm a girl and know how to potty, there's less confusion with her. Except when it comes to her reading material.

When she told me she needed the green book, I said okay, got up and went and looked in the toys for a green book. Coming up blank, I brought her a different one about happy farm animals.

Turns out she wanted the copy of Crime & Punishment sitting on the back of the toilet.Figures. While Ben sat on the floor reading the farm animal book like a normal 3-year-old, Renee voluntarily skimmed some Dostoyevsky, like a normal Doctor of Russian Literature.These babies. Teaching me more than college ever tried to and making me feel completely unprepared and moronic.