pancake breakfast at Denny's. a side trip to the mall. running through Dick's and hiding in the tents. watching the kids play in the playground. chasing each other and playing I'm gonna get your butt. laughter. joy. the casual stay by me in the parking lot warning. a repeat of the same warning. the turn to open his door. the realization that he's off and running. the looming SUV cruising out of its spot. the carnal shriek that squeals his name in such a way he whips around terrified and runs back. the welling up of tears. the hyperventilating of both of us in the back seat. his cries for mommy. my cries for how sad and scared he is. my mind wanders to horribly dark places called what if and I beg it to stop. the thought keeps creeping in and I try to kill it with gratitude. my singsong voice of happiness trying to undo the trauma. his silence the whole way home. the apology so heartfelt a piece of me died when I heard it. the sorry exchange, him for almost getting smashed by the car, mine for screaming at him and scaring him to his core. the delicate recount offered to his mother when we pick her up from work. her reply that sometimes trauma is a good thing. and that you can never take your eyes off of them, not even for a second.
I think this is what they call a life lesson, for both of us.
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3 comments:
I've had a few "OMG my child could have just died!" moments. They certainly remind us how precious life is. And to never take your eyes off of them.
Lisa
Unfortunately, these moments generally happen everyday of my life but times two, one for each boy. Especially Chase. If I make it through a day without a heart attack, its a great one!
Good thing you were able to relax that evening with a good friend. ;-)
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