Today Is B-Day!

After roughly 14 days of morning calls to check on the status of Leiah's pregnancy, today, the day Ben is on his way, finally got here. She's in the hospital as we speak, having contractions in the middle of conversations with her very annoying big sister who wants to jump through the phone and rub her head and get her water and deal with the agony of childbirth from the comfortable distance of a camera lens. She's already been through so much and now she's at the hardest part... and the part with the biggest reward.

Nine months ago Leiah called me to say she was pregnant. I had no idea she was even involved with Matt, an on-again, off-again guy who I didn't exactly think very highly of... for good reason, really... so to find out that she was back with him and to find out that she was pregnant and to find out that she, a waitress without health insurance or the ability to pay her own rent, was going to have the baby sort of blew my mind. It was probably the most volatile situation I've been in with Leiah, really trumping even the times Shannon and I would make horrible, terrifying distorted faces with a see-through nightgown and threaten Leiah with "the guards" if she didn't do what we said. I made comments that shock me even today. I can't believe what I was capable of saying when actually put in a position where I was unmovingly convinced she was making the biggest mistake of her life. From my perspective, I couldn't believe she would put an innocent baby in the position of suffering from the same father loss we shared. We know how bad it feels for parents to split up, for families to completely break apart, for dads to start new lives that don't have a place for anything from their old ones, for your biology to reject you. We know how deeply painful and destructive that can be, and here she was, setting someone else up for that pain. I said what I said to stop that from happening, and I'm forever sorry for saying what I said with such hate and short-sightedness behind it. I'm still glad I posed the questions and scenarios though, if for no other reason than it hopefully made Leiah think about the reality of sloppy sex... that a human being with a life in your hands can come out of it. Leiah was the calmest I've ever seen her in the midst of an emotional situation, and that showed me she was really at peace with her decision. Jennifer, who I will always be thankful for for having the courage to question my reaction with just the right degree of confusion and disdain, and Kristin, who I will always be thankful for for sharing her own experiences to put mine in perspective, reminded me that no matter what my family is the most important thing in my life. That means loving them, supporting them, embracing them, accepting them even when it's harder to love them than to ignore them.

Nine months is such a short time, but these last nine months have felt like years. Leiah has matured into a responsible, grounded, level-headed woman. Matt has shown so much more dimension than I initially gave him credit for. The two of them have committed to Ben by getting engaged, sharing a home and starting a life together for their family. No one knows what the future will bring, but now that Ben is here (or will be in a matter of hours!!) the center of our universe has shifted. I'm so proud of Leiah and Matt for accepting this challenge, I'm so grateful to Leiah for growing my nephew, I'm so nervous and excited and terrified and thrilled at how our family will change with Ben in it. Right now though, I'm so curious to see if he'll have the Scott smirk from the get-go or if that's something that'll show up after he's honed the Scott stubbornness.

Happy B-Day Ben, Leiah and Matt!